Celtic last night recorded a 'highly deserved' win, that is according to the BBC website. Honestly, it would be generous to even say they edged it - Ajax should've scored 7, Thulani Serero alone should've scored at least twice, the first chance was so simple and routine you could've slapped it in with a curly straw, the second just required a modicum of attacking competence. Elsewhere in the game Nir Biton attempted to break someones leg, and Jesus Samaras managed to bumble his way through another Champions League match without killing anyone, so well done to him.
People are still giving out to David Moyes in the wake of a comfortable and convincing home win. What was most impressive, and who was most impressive, was the 90-year-old Welshman in the middle of the park who linked everything together and made Champions League football look as easy as getting out of the bath, both that achievement and successfully negotiating the towelling off period remain impressive at his age.
Arsenal, meanwhile, spent their managers birthday demonstrating the importance of Mathieu Flamini. The tramp-a-like Frenchman was absent from a midfield which folded every time the opposition had possession, looking holier than St Peter whenever it wasn't actually Arsenal who had the ball. What Arsenal can learn from the game is that it might be a super idea to sign someone else who can play that role just in case the grubby little ball-winner happens to ever be missing from any game ever again.
Looking back to Sunday we saw Leeds United score FOUR goals in a home game against Birmingham City. It was a game which saw Brian McDermott finally realise that 3-5-2 might make some sense for a team that doesn't have any wingers, it gave Byram license to get forward, it allowed United to dominate the game, and it allowed MATT SMITH to bag TWO goals. However, Birmingham's first-half display could hardly have been worse. The incompetence of the defence was only matched by its incoherence, and these flaws were compounded simply by the presence of the walking hat-stand that is Dan Burn, a 'defender' who has pulled off the greatest magic trick in the history of magic tricks by convincing people to actually take him seriously as a professional football player. Aside from fielding the new Ali Dia, Birmingham also managed to field an embodiment of nepotism, in the form of Rob Lee's son Olly, Rob Lee being a former team-mate of Birmingham boss Lee Clark, Olly Lee being the most appalling excuse for a footballer since Dan Burn. Elsewhere in the Birmingham team we got to see walking freak-show Nikola Zigic bumble around the pitch wondering, much as everyone else was, what he's still doing there, and we got to see Kyle Bartley charge around the pitch wondering who the hell he'd managed to sign for. That shouldn't necessarily take the gloss of Leeds' biggest win in what feels like decades, but it kind of does. What i'm saying is that the jury is still out on the Leeds revival, in fact the jury hasn't even got its instructions yet, the jury is still sleeping through the trial at this stage.
Elsewhere, Ian Holloway has finally departed Selhurst Park. He joined with the club second in the Championship and was fortunate to lead them into the playoffs after a string of average displays, he has since presided over the selection of Stuart O'Keefe and Damien Delaney in Premier League football matches, along with the signing of SIXTEEN players over the Summer. Little wonder, with Kevin Phillips having all the impact of a nail clipping coming off the bench, that Ian has been invited to vacate his position, he departs with a THIRTY percent win percentage, even if you exclude the SEVEN games they've lost this season he's still lost as many as he's won at Palace, although it's hardly his fault that they are a team vastly out of their depth, although that in itself might be the problem.
It's finally time to turn our attention to the book of the week - Bonkers: My Autobiography in Laughs by Sir Jennifer Ferguson-Saunders - she tears into the likes of Roy Keane, reveals what it was like working with Dawn French & talks about her regrets regarding David Beckham. Starting with Keane, Saunders sensationally reveals that Roy has quite an unbalanced personality, we didn't guess that from when he DELIBERATELY ended Alf-Inge Haaland's CAREER for something the Norwegian once SAID to him. I've always thought Keane a reasonable and rational man, I'd never have thought he was mentally unbalanced, borderline psychopathic and unsafe for human consumption, never would I have ever said he was insane, deranged, demented and seven buttons short of a cardigan. Saunders goes on to confess that Eric Djemba-Djemba wasn't a success at Old Trafford during a disappointing spell which bankrupted the proud Cameroonian as he squandered his wages on 10 4x4s. Jennifer did then go on to curiously claim that United 'battered' Man City during a game which finished with the Citizens claiming a SIX-ONE victory, in which United played with the same level of competency with which a fish writes screenplays. Saunders also SENSATIONALLY claimed there was no footballing reason for Beckham to move to L.A, which is obviously contrary to all previous and popular belief, she also professed a dislike for the F.A, and made the absurd, ridiculous and libelous claim that Wayne Rooney was never in charge of transfer policy at Manchester United. What actually comes out is that the greatest revelation in Bonkers: My Life in Telling People Nothing They Didn't Already Know by Sir Alex 'Ab Fab' Saunders is that Ruud Van Nistelrooy was actually Rude Van Nistelrooy. WORTH EVERY PENNY.
