BBC Sport today tried to examine whether Liverpool were missing Suarez, which isn't really a question worth asking, because he is a good player, any team can benefit from a player like Suarez who can do a lot of things without a lot of help. I've written an equation which accounts for it - Good Player + Luis Suarez + Another Good Player + Jordan Henderson on the bench + no Stewart Downing/Andy Carroll = a team which might sneak into 4th place.
Palermo have sacked confirmed nutcase Gennaro Gattuso, Sunderland have sacked escaped mental patient Paulo Di Canio - what we are learning from this is that teams are beginning to work out that having managers who are a couple of somethings short of a something else is no way to run a footballing club.
Robert Lewandowski has confirmed that he will be a Bayern player next season. I have an equation for this too. Good player in the German League + continued existence of Bayern Munich with wealth in tact, no match-fixing scandal, no bus crash killing the first XI, no massive financial scandal = transfer (for clarification see Manuel Neuer, Mario Gotze, Mario Mandzukic, Dante and the recently-departed Mario Gomez).
Kevin Ball(s up) wants to be the next Sunderland manager. Let's play a game of examine his record in professional football management. Last time he was given the job he was given 10 games in charge of the Mackems, he won 1 game, but yesterday he won another game (at home against League One opposition), which for me qualifies him to manage in the Premier League absolutely definitely no question whatsoever. Of course an alternative would be Gus Poyet, who amongst other things did basically good work at Brighton, he has the advantage of being an actual football manager, and he would be available immediately. Of course that doesn't put Kevin Ball on the bottom of the list, not at all, because Steve McLaren is also on the list, and before hiring him I'm sure they'd have the good sense to ask the kitman or the physio to have a crack at the job.
Jose Mourinho, apparently, went mental when they gave Moyesy the United job and only pretended that he already knew about it when the press asked him, this is according to someone who confirmedly hates his guts. It's like me writing an autobiography about Roy Keane, every other word of which would be 'fuck' or 'fucking', with every other word to that first word being an exceptionally thinly veiled insult. Anyway, apparently what Jose pointed out, when turned down for the post, was that David Moyes has won fuck all and hasn't, if you didn't notice, even worked his way out of Everton, until now. What you'll notice about Jose is that he's won fucking loads and knows how to win stuff. David Moyes couldn't win a raffle if he had the only ticket.
Jos Hooiveld is backing Southampton to follow in the footsteps of Swansea and lift the Crapitall One Mickey Mouse LDV Vans Shield next February. Unfortunately nobody has mentioned to the lanky and basically incompetent Dutchman that there are, in fact, other teams in the competition.
Alan Pardew says he is seething about his sides performance in their defeat to Hull, and if he's seething about that then you'd have to assume he's probably going to be absolutely furious when he gets sacked for doing an awful job with an excellent squad.
Good news for Arsenal fans - Nicky's back. 'Never before have I met anyone so proud and yet so utterly useless' is what Glen Cullen said about Terri Coverley on the Thick of It, but he might as well have been talking about this lanky waste of space. Expect misplaced passes, mistimed headers, misguided touches and inappropriate media comments about how good he is.
Questions...
This is the segment where I, the writer, pose questions to you, the sort of twats who would actually read the things I write...
1) why does Arsene Wenger spend all Winter watching football in a sleeping bag?
2) why is Romelu Lukaku playing for another team that isn't Chelsea?
3) does anyone else think David Moyes looks a lot like he knows he's really really really far out of his depth?
Palermo have sacked confirmed nutcase Gennaro Gattuso, Sunderland have sacked escaped mental patient Paulo Di Canio - what we are learning from this is that teams are beginning to work out that having managers who are a couple of somethings short of a something else is no way to run a footballing club.
Robert Lewandowski has confirmed that he will be a Bayern player next season. I have an equation for this too. Good player in the German League + continued existence of Bayern Munich with wealth in tact, no match-fixing scandal, no bus crash killing the first XI, no massive financial scandal = transfer (for clarification see Manuel Neuer, Mario Gotze, Mario Mandzukic, Dante and the recently-departed Mario Gomez).
Kevin Ball(s up) wants to be the next Sunderland manager. Let's play a game of examine his record in professional football management. Last time he was given the job he was given 10 games in charge of the Mackems, he won 1 game, but yesterday he won another game (at home against League One opposition), which for me qualifies him to manage in the Premier League absolutely definitely no question whatsoever. Of course an alternative would be Gus Poyet, who amongst other things did basically good work at Brighton, he has the advantage of being an actual football manager, and he would be available immediately. Of course that doesn't put Kevin Ball on the bottom of the list, not at all, because Steve McLaren is also on the list, and before hiring him I'm sure they'd have the good sense to ask the kitman or the physio to have a crack at the job.
Jose Mourinho, apparently, went mental when they gave Moyesy the United job and only pretended that he already knew about it when the press asked him, this is according to someone who confirmedly hates his guts. It's like me writing an autobiography about Roy Keane, every other word of which would be 'fuck' or 'fucking', with every other word to that first word being an exceptionally thinly veiled insult. Anyway, apparently what Jose pointed out, when turned down for the post, was that David Moyes has won fuck all and hasn't, if you didn't notice, even worked his way out of Everton, until now. What you'll notice about Jose is that he's won fucking loads and knows how to win stuff. David Moyes couldn't win a raffle if he had the only ticket.
Jos Hooiveld is backing Southampton to follow in the footsteps of Swansea and lift the Crapitall One Mickey Mouse LDV Vans Shield next February. Unfortunately nobody has mentioned to the lanky and basically incompetent Dutchman that there are, in fact, other teams in the competition.
Alan Pardew says he is seething about his sides performance in their defeat to Hull, and if he's seething about that then you'd have to assume he's probably going to be absolutely furious when he gets sacked for doing an awful job with an excellent squad.
Good news for Arsenal fans - Nicky's back. 'Never before have I met anyone so proud and yet so utterly useless' is what Glen Cullen said about Terri Coverley on the Thick of It, but he might as well have been talking about this lanky waste of space. Expect misplaced passes, mistimed headers, misguided touches and inappropriate media comments about how good he is.
Questions...
This is the segment where I, the writer, pose questions to you, the sort of twats who would actually read the things I write...
1) why does Arsene Wenger spend all Winter watching football in a sleeping bag?
2) why is Romelu Lukaku playing for another team that isn't Chelsea?
3) does anyone else think David Moyes looks a lot like he knows he's really really really far out of his depth?
